Promoting peace and harmony from an Abrahamic perspective

 

What is Kindness?

 

Kindness is the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. It is a behaviour marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern and consideration for others. It is considered a virtue, and is recognised as a value in many cultures and religions. Kindness can be shown by expressing concern toward the welfare of others. Kindness where someone gives without expecting anything in return speaks to others like a language of love- from one heart to another. Kindness can be shown to others using either speech or actions. A kind word and forgiveness is better than a kind action followed by injury or reminder. Kind actions has most effect on bettering ourselves and helping others if not followed by constant reminder or injury.

 

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Why is kindness important?

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This question can be approached by asking ourselves- how does it make us feel when another individual shows us kindness? Let us imagine a world without kindness?

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Kindness brings people together. It provides a platform on which love and compassion can grow both within ourselves and within others.

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Even just small acts of kindness can have huge benefits to both the giver and the receiver and help to bring a positive sense of purpose and meaning into our lives and to existence.

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How can kindness help us?

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Kindness not only helps others but also enhances our own well-being across multiple dimensions:

Mental, Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Well-Being

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• Acts of Kindness: Engaging in kindness is as rewarding as receiving it, creating a positive cycle of happiness and altruism.

• Receiving Kindness: Enhances feelings of love, respect, and self-worth, but can lead to arrogance if not reciprocated.

• Gratitude: Essential for maintaining balance in relationships and preventing entitlement.

• Encouragement: Kindness fosters forgiveness, love, and deeper relationships.

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Physical Health

• Kind acts release oxytocin, lowering blood pressure and improving heart health.

• Reduces pain through endorphin release, alleviating chronic pain conditions.

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Mental Health

• Oxytocin boosts self-esteem and optimism, reducing anxiety and depression.

• Acts of kindness serve as natural behavioural therapy and can improve happiness, even for hostile individuals.

 

Emotional Health

• Engaging in kindness fosters emotional warmth, reduces stress, and opens us to positive emotions.

• Balances kindness with emotions like love and gratitude, enhancing overall well-being.

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Spiritual Health

• Kindness purifies selfishness and fosters a connection with the divine.

• Selfless acts are seen as investments in spiritual growth, yielding intangible rewards.

• Over time, kindness becomes a natural expression of compassion and love.

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Ultimately, kindness enriches our lives and relationships, fostering a cycle of giving and receiving that enhances our connection to ourselves, others, and a Higher Power.

 

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How can kindness help others?​

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Acts of kindness have the potential to create a ripple effect in our communities, inspiring others and fostering a culture of compassion and empathy. However, the way kindness is expressed can significantly influence its impact. Here, we explore the nuances of kindness and its profound effects on individuals and society.

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The Importance of Unconditional Kindness

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When acts of kindness are accompanied by reminders of the favour or any associated harm, they can become counterproductive. Such reminders may undermine the recipient's dignity, making them feel controlled or manipulated. In contrast, offering kindness without any expectation of return can have a much more positive effect. This selfless approach encourages individuals to embrace kindness themselves, leading to a cycle of generosity.

Inspiring Others Through Kindness

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When people receive kindness without strings attached, they are more likely to lower their defences and feel safe in expressing love and compassion towards others. This transformation can lead to:

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• Increased Forgiveness: Individuals become more forgiving as they experience the warmth of kindness.

• Enhanced Trust: Kindness fosters trust, allowing for deeper connections and relationships.

• Stronger Relationships: Acts of kindness help build lasting bonds among individuals and communities.

 

Bringing Hope to Others

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Acts of kindness can serve as a beacon of hope, particularly during challenging times. Simple gestures, such as helping an elderly person cross the street or picking up litter, can significantly impact not only the recipient but also onlookers. These small acts can trigger an oxytocin rush, promoting feelings of joy and happiness among witnesses and encouraging them to engage in kind actions themselves.

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Creating a Culture of Altruism

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By creating an environment where altruism thrives, we can cultivate greater trust and investment in one another. This culture reduces the likelihood of selfish behaviour and encourages a community where kindness is the norm. The emotional benefits of kindness are reciprocal; the joy we feel when we extend kindness is mirrored in those we help, creating a shared experience of happiness and fulfilment.

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The Broader Impact of Kindness

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Kindness not only benefits the recipient but also enriches our own lives. It allows us to treat others as we wish to be treated, positively influencing their mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. The act of being kind can lead to:

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• Improved Mental Health: Both givers and receivers experience reduced stress and increased happiness.

• Enhanced Physical Health: Kindness can lead to lower blood pressure and improved immune function.

• Strengthened Community Bonds: Kind acts foster a sense of belonging and connection among individuals.

 

In conclusion, our kindness has the power to inspire and uplift others, creating a cycle of compassion that benefits everyone involved. By practising unconditional kindness, we not only enhance the lives of those around us but also enrich our own experiences, fostering a more empathetic and loving world.

 

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How Can We Be More Kind?

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Being "more kind" is subjective. It varies based on how kind we already are and how much kindness we aspire to cultivate. Our level of kindness is influenced by our level of selfishness, among other factors. The motivation behind our desire to become kinder can also impact our capacity for growth in kindness. For instance, if our aim is self-benefit, our kindness may have limits. However, if our intention is genuinely altruistic, and focused on helping others, it can liberate us from constraints.

 

10 practical steps to help you become more kind;

 

1. Practice Active Listening

Engage fully in conversations without interrupting, showing genuine interest in others' thoughts and feelings.

 

2. Express Gratitude Regularly

Reflect on what you’re thankful for and express appreciation to uplift others and improve your own mood.

 

3. Perform Random Acts of Kindness

Engage in spontaneous, selfless acts that can brighten someone's day and inspire them to be kind in return.

 

4. Volunteer Your Time

Dedicate time to causes you care about, which benefits others and enriches your life through community connections.

 

5. Be Mindful of Your Words

Choose encouraging and positive language to create a supportive environment and uplift those around you.

 

6. Show Empathy

Understand and acknowledge others' feelings, especially in tough times, to strengthen relationships and kindness.

 

7. Limit Negative Influences

Surround yourself with positivity and limit exposure to negativity to foster a kind and compassionate mindset.

 

8. Cultivate Patience

Practice mindfulness and take a moment to breathe before responding, allowing for thoughtful reactions in stressful situations.

 

9. Share Your Kindness Journey

Document and share your experiences with kindness to inspire others and create a supportive community.

 

10. Reflect on Your Actions

At the end of each day, review your interactions to identify your acts of kindness and areas for improvement.

By integrating these steps into your life, you can develop a habit of kindness that positively impacts both yourself and those around you.

 

Kindness SELF-HELP EXERCISE (over 2 weeks)

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To maximise the benefits of a journey toward self-improvement through acts of kindness, it's useful to reflect on our past and present behaviours. Let's begin by asking ourselves:

 

1. In the past week, can you recall any act of kindness you received from someone else? (Write these down.) If so, how did it make you feel? If nothing comes to mind, think back further—over the last month or year. Note how it made you feel, what it was, and why you think it affected you that way. What is your relationship with the person involved?

2. Now, consider an act of kindness you extended to another person. It could be something small, like offering kind words, giving directions, smiling at a stranger, letting someone in a hurry go ahead in line, or helping a neighbour with groceries. Write it down and reflect on how you believe it made the recipient feel and how it made you feel to help someone. Consider why you performed this act of kindness. Were you expecting anything in return? Did the person express gratitude? If not, how did that make you feel? Record your thoughts and reflections.

3. Try to recall ten small acts of kindness you received in the past seven days and write them down. If you can't think of ten, look further back—over a month or a year. Document them.

4. Now, think of ten small acts of kindness you performed for others in the past seven days. If you can't recall ten, extend the timeframe to a month or a year. Write them down.

5. Repeat the reflection exercise from question 2 for all the acts of kindness noted in questions 3 and 4. Reflect on how each act made you feel, how you expect it affected the recipient, and how it influenced your relationship with those people or others.

6. Plan for the upcoming week. Identify ten small acts of kindness you wish to perform for others. Write them down as a checklist, and each day, aim to complete 1-2 of these acts until all are done. These acts can be directed at loved ones or strangers. Reflect on your intentions behind these acts. Is it to combat depression and anxiety? To make yourself feel better? To uplift someone else? How would you feel if the recipient didn't acknowledge or recognise your act of kindness? Consider your feelings.

7. Repeat exercise 2 for the acts of kindness from your checklist. Reflect on how it made you feel and how you hope it affected the recipient.

8. Think of ten small acts of kindness for the following week, this time targeting individuals you've never met. Keep these acts secret so the recipients don't know it's you. Write them down. Perform them as you did in step 7, and reflect daily on these acts. How do you expect they made the recipients feel? How did they make you feel?

9. Compare your reflections on your emotions from week 1 with those from week 2. This exercise should help us understand our intentions when performing acts of kindness and whether they are truly altruistic or more self-serving.

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 It's natural to engage in small acts of kindness for self-benefit, but as we progress in self-purification through kindness, we transcend selfish boundaries. The outcome is positive, benefiting both others and ourselves, so both public and secret acts of kindness should be encouraged. Over time, true piety emerges when acts of kindness become second nature, performed without expectation of return, and we begin to genuinely love others as ourselves and treat them as we wish to be treated.

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Scripture Quotes on Kindness

 

'Life and death are in the hands of the tongue.' Proverbs 18:21

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‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ Leviticus 19:18

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“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’  Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?  And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’  And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.”Matthew 25:35-40

 

 “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.”Proverbs 19:17

 

'Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend, and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.' Proverbs 27:10

 

 

'For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’- Deuteronomy 15:11

 

 

“If among you, one of your brothers should become poor, in any of your towns within your land that the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart or shut your hand against your poor brother"- Deuteronomy 15:7

 

 

'A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.'- Proverbs 17:17

 

 

'And the King will answer them, Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' Matthew 25:40

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'Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will repay him for his deed.' Proverbs 19:17

 

 

'Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel.'Proverbs 11:17

 

 

'Kindness and faithfulness keep a king safe, through kindness his throne is made secure.' Proverbs 20:28

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'Goodness does not consist in turning your face towards East or West. The truly good are those who believe in God and the Last Day, in the angels, the Scripture, and the prophets; who give away some of their wealth, however much they cherish it, to their relatives, to orphans, the needy, travelers and beggars and to liberate those in debt and bondage; those who keep up the prayers and pay the prescribed alms; who keep pledges whenever they make them; who are steadfast in misfortune, adversity and times of danger. These are the ones who are true, and it is they who are aware of God.  Quran 2:178

 

'Indeed, God enjoins justice, and the doing of good to others; and giving like kindred; and forbids indecency, and manifest evil, and wrongful transgression. He admonished you that you may take heed.'Quran 16:91

 

'And as for those who strive in Our path — We will surely guide them in Our ways. And Indeed, Allah is with those who are of service to others.' Quran 29:70

 

'Indeed, God is with those who are righteous and those who do good.' Quran 16:129

 

'O ye people! fear your Lord, Who created you from a single soul and created therefrom its mate, and from them twain spread many men and women; and fear God, in Whose name you appeal to one another, and be mindful of your duty to God, particularly respecting ties of relationship. Verily, God watches over you. Quran 4:2

 

In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful. Beginning of each chapter Quran

 

'And good and evil are not alike. Repel evil with that which is best. And lo, he between whom and thyself was enmity will become as though he were a warm friend.  But none is granted it save those who are steadfast; and none is granted it save those who possess a large share of good.' Quran 41:35-36

 

'Those who spend in prosperity and adversity, and those who suppress anger and pardon men; and Allah loves those who do good.'  Quran 3:135

 

So God gave them the reward of this world, as also an excellent reward of the next; and God loves those who do good.  Quran 3:149

 

'And who is better in faith than he who submits himself to God, and he is a doer of good, and follows the religion of Abraham, the upright? And God took Abraham for a special friend.  Quran 4:126

 

…'So pardon them and turn away from them. Surely, God loves those who do good.' Quran 5:14

 

'No blame lies on the weak, nor on the sick, nor on those who find naught to spend, if they are sincere to God and His Messenger. There is no cause of reproach against those who do good deeds; and God is Most Forgiving, Merciful.Quran 9:91

 

'And be thou steadfast; for surely, God suffers not the reward of the righteous to perish.'  Quran 11:116

 

'They replied, ‘Art thou Joseph?’ He said, ‘Yes, I am Joseph and this is my brother. God has indeed been gracious to us. Verily, whoso is righteous and is steadfast — God will never suffer the reward of the good to be lost.’  (Al Quran 12:91)

 

'Their flesh reaches not God, nor does their blood, but it is your righteousness that reaches Him. Thus has He subjected them to you, that you may glorify God for His guiding you. And give glad tidings to those who do good.'  Quran 22:38

 

'A guidance and a mercy for those who do good.' Quran 31:4

 

‘But if you desire God and His Messenger and the Home of the Hereafter, then truly God has prepared for those of you who do good a great reward.’  Quran 33:30

 

'And he who submits himself completely to God, and is a doer of good, he has surely grasped a strong handle. And with God rests the end of all affairs.' Quran 31:23

 

'‘Thou hast indeed fulfilled the dream.’ Thus indeed do We reward those who do good.'  Quran 37:106

 

'Thus indeed do We reward those who do good.'  Quran 37:132

 

'And spend for the cause of God, and cast not yourselves into ruin with your own hands, and do good; surely, God loves those who do good.'  Quran 2:196

 

'And remember the time when We took a covenant from the children of Israel: ‘You shall worship nothing but God and show kindness to parents and to kindred and orphans and the poor, and speak to men kindly and observe Prayer, and pay the Zakat;’ then you turned away in aversion, except a few of you.' Quran 2:84

 

'They ask thee what they shall spend. Say: ‘Whatever of good and abundant wealth you spend should be for parents and near relatives and orphans and the needy and the wayfarer. And whatever good you do, surely God knows it well.’  Quran 2:216

 

'And worship God and associate naught with Him, and show kindness to parents, and to kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and to the neighbor that is a kinsman and the neighbor that is a stranger, and the companion by your side, and the wayfarer, and those whom your right hands possess. Surely, God loves not the proud and the boastful.'  Quran 4:37

 

'Say, ‘Come, I will rehearse to you what your Lord has forbidden: that you associate not anything as partner with Him and that you do good to parents, and that you kill not your children for fear of poverty — it is We Who provide for you and for them — and that you approach not foul deeds, whether open or secret; and that you kill not the life which God has made sacred, save by right. That is what He has enjoined upon you, that you may understand.'   Quran 6:152

 

'Thy Lord has commanded, “Worship none but Him, and show kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, never say unto them any word expressive of disgust nor reproach them, but address them with excellent speech.' Quran 17:24

 

'And We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; but if they strive to make thee associate that with Me of which thou hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return, and I shall inform you of what you did.'  Quran 29:9

 

'Consort with them in kindness; and if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing wherein God has placed much good.'  Quran 4:20

 

'And they ask thee concerning the orphans. Say: ‘Promotion of their welfare is an act of great goodness. And if you intermix with them, they are your brethren. And God knows the mischief-maker from the reformer. And if God had so willed, He would have put you to hardship. Surely, God is Mighty, Wise.’  Quran 2:21

 

'And when other relations and orphans and the poor are present at the division of heritage, give them something therefrom and speak to them words of kindness.'   Quran 4:9

 

'Those who believe and do good deeds — the Gracious God will create love in their hearts.' Quran 19:97

 

'If ye publish your almsgiving, it is well, but if ye hide it and give it to the poor, it will be better for you, and will atone for some of your ill-deeds. God is Informed of what ye do.' Quran 2:271

 

'O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders or injury as does one who spends his wealth [only] to be seen by the people and does not believe in God and the Last Day. His example is like that of a [large] smooth stone upon which is dust and is hit by a downpour that leaves it bare. They are unable [to keep] anything of what they have earned. And God does not guide the disbelieving people.' Quran 2:264

 

'A kind word with forgiveness is better than almsgiving followed by injury. God is Absolute, Clement.' Quran 2:263